Staying at home makes the porch times more important than ever as a change of scene. It is always beautiful looking to the trees, the field, the sky or the hummingbird feeder. The mind feeds on natural beauty, requires it even.
Today is a day of contemplation for me. For no special reason. it has just turned out that way. Today I am seeking ways to explore spiritual experiences and tune in to losses and joys, people known and loved who are gone, experiences that exist now in imperfect memory, and places visited or that I wished to have visited.
All is well with me and my family. The world outside the Full Circle Farms cocoon cycles on in madness. It may be compared to living in the eye of a storm. We can see the swirling winds around us, but here it is “normal”, we go ahead with chores, walks, animal care, and gardening. We talk about what is around us, but it is really as observers more than as participants. At least that is how it seems to me.
Maybe it is age that gives me this equanimity. At dinner last night the subject of what it was like to be fifteen came up as the elders related their experiences to the fifteen-year-old in the room. We acknowledged the experience of strong passions and the sadness that expressed itself in listening to sad music or writing sad poetry or long diary entries. It seems to me that the wallowing in sad feelings that characterized my own teen years left a long time ago, and good riddance.
Although I have shed tears today, I am not so much sad as wistful recalling events, people, places and the person I was at those times and in those places. But now, I am here, in this time, in this place and glad to have the life that I have. I appreciate all the moments. I appreciate new experiences and being able to act a bit crazy at times because there is no one to judge me. I feel a spark coming to my eye as I write that, so I know it is what fuels me today. Savoring every moment of the day is my new mantra. This is how I get to be awesome every day.
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