Having spent time in a retirement community with my parents, the content of obituaries occasionally came up for discussion. The idea of writing one’s own obituary came up more than once. I suggested to my father that he try writing his own. Once done, he was not happy with it and after reading some that he liked, he revised it in a different style. A list of accomplishments was not what he had in mind, even though those were numerous. So we talked about what to say that would convey how he would like to be remembered.
This week, I tried my hand at writing an obituary for myself with the same goal in mind. This was a way to focus on what was and is still important to me as I continue to live my life. I included the facts of birth and family, but the majority of space was devoted to gratitude for the people and experiences that have made my life rich and interesting. As I included specific events, I learned how much these things meant to me.
For example, I mentioned completing a session at Hurricane Island Outward Bound School in 1980. Lots of people do that every year. But for me it was something I was not sure I would be physically capable of doing. I trained for a year to be able to cover a mile in 12 min. and never quite made it. I knew what kind of physical challenges would be ahead and I wanted to test myself in a way that I had never done before. I knew less about the psychological challenges, and these were, of course, greater than I could have imagined. It was only 11 days of my life, but it gave me lessons to work on for the rest of my life. Having jumped into the cold Maine ocean in May every morning of the course, I did not have to think twice about jumping into Alaskan waters while on a retirement cruise in 2013. I knew it would be cold, and I knew I could do it, so I did. Humpback Whale Club meet your new member!
Trying new things, taking a risk, not being fearful to engage with life are the characteristics for which I wish to be remembered. I will likely rewrite my obituary again and again to keep on reminding myself what is important. I’ll keep the most current version saved on my desktop, just in case.
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